man-moon-fear-vs-worry-smartalkers-speaking-coach-florida

 
 
In a recent interview celebrating 50 years since man’s first walk on the moon, astronaut Michael Collins stated, “I wasn’t scared but worried.” Those words gave me pause as many of my clients will engage my coaching services to help them overcome their fear of speaking in public. So I questioned, is there a difference between the statements, “I have a fear of speaking”, and “I worry about speaking?”

Here’s a thought… In a post by Meredith Bell, she offers the following:

Among the many useful insights, I took away from Gavin de Becker’s book, The Gift of Fear, one of the most profound was a deeper appreciation for the distinction between worry and fear. Until reading the final chapter, I had not pondered the difference. But the author not only defines them clearly, but he also points out why one is harmful and the other can be life-saving.

Gavin de Becker is one of the most sought-after, highly respected experts on security issues in the world. His firm protects people who are at risk, and his clients include celebrities, governments, and large corporations. He knows what he’s talking about, and his book is filled with stories – some startling, some chilling, and all true – that will remain embedded in my brain for years to come.

According to de Becker, people too often associate the word fear with other words like worry, panic, and anxiety. But they are not the same. While the latter emotions are voluntary, genuine fear is involuntary. It’s a survival signal wired in us that sounds only in the presence of danger and is intended to be very brief. The problem is that “unwarranted fear has assumed a power over us that it holds over no other creature on earth.”

On the other hand, worry is a choice. When we allow ourselves to become preoccupied with what might happen, there are clear downsides: “It interrupts clear thinking, wastes time, and shortens life.”

So based on the above, should we change the focus to “I have a worry about public speaking”? Or is the “unwarranted fear” mentioned above?

Your thoughts?

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what-if-fear-of-speaking-smartalkers-speaking-coach-florida

 

Do you have a fear of speaking and let the “what if” thoughts consume you? “What if I make a mistake and look like a fool? What if I’m asked a question and don’t know the answer? What if the technology doesn’t work?”

The following post came through Instagram and I don’t know who wrote it, but felt the thoughts were appropriate for those that have a fear of speaking. Take heed. We are what we think, especially relating to: “What if” thoughts?

“Are you worried? Do you have many “what if” thoughts? You are identified with your mind, which is projecting itself into an imaginary future situation and creating fear. There is no way that you can cope with such a situation because it doesn’t exist. It’s a mental phantom. You can stop this health and life-corroding insanity simply by acknowledging the present moment.”

I might add, related to speaking, there is a way you can cope. Learning how to design and deliver a presentation and find out how to dispel all the “what if’s” will give you the confidence to overcome your fear. I know this for a fact because this is how I overcame my fear of speaking in public. You can too!

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ruin presentation ubllic speaking coach smartalkers florida

 

Here are some common mistakes that TED (TED Talks) advises its speakers to avoid:

  1. Take a really long time to explain what your talk is about.
  2. Speak slowly and dramatically. Why talk when you can orate?
  3. Make sure you subtly let everyone know how important you are.
  4. Refer to your book repeatedly. Even better, quote yourself from it.
  5. Cram your slides with numerous text bullet points and multiple fonts.
  6. Use lots of unexplained technical jargon to make yourself sound smart.
  7. Speak at great length about the history of your organization and its glorious achievements.
  8. Don’t bother rehearing to check how long your talk is running.
  9. Sound as if you’re reciting your talk from memory.
  10. Never ever make eye contact with anyone in the audience.
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value soft skills money smartalkers speaking coach florida

 

LinkedIn identified the soft skills companies need most. Regardless of industry, communication ranked as #2.

Communication skills allow people to work together more efficiently and effectively because they understand each other.

Would improving your soft skills possibly lead to a promotion, make you feel more comfortable speaking up in difficult conversations, or help you feel more comfortable giving a speech? Let’s connect and see how I can help. wendy@smartalkers.com

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SmarTalkers | Wendy's Blog

by Wendy Warman MS CCC

Dec 12, 2018
Step 1

Establish Your Objectives

Without a doubt, this often overlooked step is the most important one in the planning process. You need to ask. “Why am I making this presentation?” not “What am I going to say?” Start by determining what you want to accomplish with your presentation. Your objectives must be realistic and achievable, immediate, and essentially selfish. They represent what you want to have happen during and after your presentation.
Step 2

Analyze Your Audience

Next, turn the tables-think about your audience’s needs and wants. What do you need to know about your audience’s knowledge, attitudes, likes, and dislikes to increase the probability of achieving your objectives? What is likely to get your audience to do what you want them to do?
Step 3

Prepare Your Preliminary Plan

The preliminary plan is not a speaking outline. Think of it as a conceptual guide to help you determine what will most logically lead to accomplishing your presentation objectives. This should be a blueprint for developing your ideas and deciding how much and what kind of information you will need.
Step 4

Select Resource Material

Finding enough resource material to supplement your talking points is not difficult. The challenge is selecting what and how much material you should include. Ask yourself the following questions:
  • What is the purpose of this presentation?
  • What should you cover? What can you eliminate?
  • What amount of detail do you need?
  • What must you say if you are to reach your presentation objectives?
  • What is the best way to say it?
  • What kind of audience action or response are you seeking?
  • What material should you withhold from your presentation but have available for reference?
  • Finally, submit all your resource material to the “Why?” test. Be sure you can justify why you selected the material and how it will contribute to achieving your objectives
Step 5

Organize Materials

Like any good story, your presentation needs a beginning, middle, and end. Presenters often spend most of their time organizing content and very little on their opening and closing statements-perhaps the most important parts of your presentation.
  • An audience is most attentive at the beginning of your presentation, but it can turn off quickly. Take advantage of this small window of opportunity with a well-honed opener that grabs your audience and conveys the main point of your presentation in the first few minutes.
  • Follow your main ideas with analogies, quotes from current newspapers or magazines, personal stories, examples, illustrations, relevant statistics, or visual aids.
  • Audience attention and retention peak again with your closing statement. Integrate your opening points into your closing statements. This shows cohesiveness and gives your presentation a powerful ending. Closings will impress your audience if they are challenging, a summary of your key points, suggest an agreement or recommend specific action, or present quotes, facts, or statistics.
Step 6

Practice Your Presentation

IIt’s a rare individual who can take even a well-prepared presentation and deliver it effectively on the first attempt. Most of us have had the experience of planning a presentation that looks good on paper only to have it fall flat in the real world.
  • Preparation is not complete until you have rehearsed your presentation, whether practicing aloud to yourself, using an audio-or-videotape recorder, or giving a “dry run” before someone who can respond like your intended audience.
Each of these six steps offers a separate and distinct contribution, and none of them should be overlooked. When you take the time to move through this six-step process, it should guarantee that your next presentation is delivered LOUD AND CLEAR!
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words smartalkers speaking coach florida

Within the word, “swords” is the word “words”. This is an easy way to remember your words, like swords, get you into and out of trouble.

When your words become arrows directed at a specific positive target the point of your words become inspiring and uplifting.

Allow your words to guide and teach about the things you have spent your life discovering.

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