You can come into a conversation with a clear message, but the person receiving your message will hear it through their filters, including their emotions, preconceptions, prejudices and pre-existing beliefs.
How your words are understood is strongly influenced by the experiences and biases of the listener.
When a mutual understanding of a conversation is important, the only way you can be sure your message is received the way you intended, is to ask the listener to paraphrase what they heard you say.
Merely asking close-ended questions such as, “Does this make sense?” or “Are you clear with the next steps?” allows the listener to answer “yes” when in reality their response is channeled through their filters or the way they heard it resulting in the strong possibility of a misunderstanding. It only takes a minute for clarification, with costly consequences of time and money if not taken.
